Randomism's Guide to Better Yiffing

Table Of Contents

1. Before Attempting To Yiff.
2. Scouting Your Choices.
3. Finding Out Fetishes.
4. Time To Yiff The Right Way!
5. After The Yiff.

1. Before Attempting To Yiff.

It's always nice to know what yiffing is before attempting to yiff. You don't have to yiff to find out what yiffing is, though. You can always sneak in on other furres yiffing and find out, or go to some of these websites.

http://www.angelfire.com/me/merlestudio/ *WARNING* Extremely Graphic

Read through these sites until you fully understand what yiffing is. Reading these might also help you find out how to go about becoming Owsla, which might be discussed later.

2. Scouting Your Choices.

This is the most important part of yiffing. If you skip this part, you will be yiffing with yourself. Sometimes a good choice will be a tree or a sign. You can find a lot of these in Meovanni Village, Imaginarium and Water City. If you have the time and patience, you might also find another furre to yiff with. You usually want to yiff fast, so say things like "Anyone wanna yiff?" or ask a male/female "Wanna yiff?" If you don't do this, you will look like a complete moron. Trust us. If someone's desc says [single and not looking] or [don't talk to me] or something like this, then it is ok to flirt with them. Go sit next to someone and start tickling them all over. If they try to get away, that only means you should keep doing it. If they ignore you, then you're in, and you can start trying on their pants.

3. Finding Out Fetishes

This is also the most important part of yiffing. You have to find out how the other furre likes to yiff, because they most likely won't tell you, especially if they have ignored you already. Here are some questions you should have a friend, who is not ignored by your mate-to-be, ask them.

What is your favorite color?
Do you like to yiff sleeping or awake?
How many times have you yiffed today?
Do you like being surpr.. BOOO!!!!!
Do you like bandages and blood while playing water polo type sports?
Do you like wearing clothes or wearing fur?

Wearing clothes can translate into not wearing clothes, if you use your imagination, or just plain persuasion.

4. Time To Yiff The Right Way!

Now we're going to have some fun. Too often do we see furres yiff like "Some guy grins." or "This girl snickers." Now, this is no way to yiff. The sites mentioned earlier provide many alternatives, but we will throw out some random ideas also, because that's what we do. You must remember to be detailed. For example, you could replace "Hi" with "Somefurre grabs you and spins you around and picks you up and carries you down the street, waving to Nikodemus and Sidereal as they pass and takes the road to Sanctuary and sits down in front of Sancy, and winks at Sancy and does their thing." And be sure to include as much detail about your body as possible, such as the color and length of each strand of fur, and be sure to describe each time you blink and breathe. You also want to use as many unique words as possible. For example, instead of using "paw" all the time, you can use words like snerf, flazg, kuwop, prugoy, blurfle, and jilf. Also, you want to change positions normally. If you change positions abnormally, your partner might get freaked out and bolt. And you don't want to stay in the same position all the time. For example, if you both stay on opposite sides of the room the entire time, you won't have very much fun.

Oops, almost forgot about playing. This is is is is is is important. You want to play some games during a yiff. It makes it all that more interesting, and the more you kick your partner's ass in a game, the more they will want you to kick it some more, and the more your ego will grow. Try to exploit their weaknesses as much as possible. For example, if your partner is blind, suggest that you play charades. Basically do anything you want. Just remember to be vaguely detailed.

5. After The Yiff.

Your partner may want to relax with you and talk, or just cuddle. Doing this for a little while can really help you. Use this time to find out what they did and didn't like. This will be useful information for when you go find someone else to yiff with a few minutes later. Using this tactic, each furre you yiff with will like it even better than the previous one, until eventually your reputation will lead ShadowBorn to ask you about being Owsla. Tell him that you'll think about it, and give him a little wink. That will keep him in a happy mood.

This is an unauthorized parody of Fangrelle's Guide To Better Yiffing. This page contains some rather explicit text (no pictures, sorry). If you click this link, Randomism assumes no responisibilty for what you see. Basically, if you're a punk kid, you shouldn't go there.